***This one is dedicated to women who have been abused at the hand of a 'lover'***
I’m broken
A pile of mass soaked in salt ridden droplets
And stained in a crimson hue
Fetally I lay
Cheeks caressing concrete
...How did I get here?...
Gasping for rhythmic breathing
My swollen eyes blink like humming bird wings
But I can’t see the forest for the tears
My black was once beautiful
My blue added torture
My reds now mix with salt
Silent screams summon my will back
But silent screams on deaf ears
Result in deafening silence
Delicately marrying the cool concrete
With the fullness of my back
I roll to see the morning sun peek through a hole in the curtain
...It’s not even 8:30...
Are you still here?
Why would you be?
You’ve already stolen me
Stealing parts from me that
I didn’t even know were up for grabs
Clawed way past my breasts and thighs
To the one thing that I held dear
TRUST
And I trusted that you would treat me like with dignity
And not like slave-time property
Dammit I was your woman!
...But never mind that...
The fluorescents wreak havoc on my pupils
The cool water soothes my wounds
I’m a bag of emotions spilled carelessly on hardwood and linoleum
...Who dares stare at me in this state?!...
A familiar face
But I dunno who it is
Suddenly 2 eyes meet 2 eyes
And the 4 eyes connect dots
That once were lines
And for the first time in a long time
I see.....me?
A me I can’t even begin to recognize
A me that is battered and dejected
Seemingly beyond repair
...I never knew a human lip could get so fat...
Starring through me to me I see
Multi coloured skin atop a skeletal core
That forgot what human life is worth
The corners of lips
Have been turned down for so long
They know my feet more than my eyes
And in that instant I begin to mourn
Because I know the spirited me has been murdered
At the hand of a man
All in the name of LOVE
...It’s the first time I’ve seen a living corpse...
Starring through myself to myself
Is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do
...How did I get here?...
...How did I get here?...
...How did I get here?...
And in that moment I felt the lights intensify
As if 10,000 light bulbs illuminated over my head
OUT....GET THE HELL OUT!
In that instant one plus one equals one
When the old me took the other me by the shoulders
And reminded me of the me that once was
A me that was goal driven and motivated to succeed
A me that was lively and beautiful from the upper to the core
A me that was alluring and magnetic
...I`ve just seen two funerals in one day...
Self actualization could possibly be the best gift a woman could give herself!
I’ve burned the ‘memory’ of the other me
Because that was not how I envisioned life to be
And up from those ashes I emerged stronger and finally free
From those ashes new life was born...
And with those ashes I walked through the door.
